


How to Kill a Ghost

by saiditallbefore



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Humor, Force Ghosts, Gen, Road Trips, Vader is here in spirit, Variety Box Challenge, but not literally
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-15
Updated: 2018-02-15
Packaged: 2019-03-17 13:42:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13660194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saiditallbefore/pseuds/saiditallbefore
Summary: “Fuck.  I’m being followed by a dead Jedi.”“Jedi master, I was,” he says, tapping Kylo with his cane again.





	How to Kill a Ghost

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AceQueenKing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceQueenKing/gifts).



> I saw your prompt for Yoda and Kylo Ren and I knew right away I had to write something for it. I hope you enjoy!

Two days after his father— after Han Solo— dies, Kylo Ren wakes in the medbay to a disturbance in the Force. He pretends to be asleep, reaching out with his senses to find the disturbance so that he can destroy it.

“Much you still have to learn, there is,” an unfamiliar, wheezy voice says from somewhere low to the ground.

Kylo sits straight up, intent on getting rid of this interloper. It turns out to be a small creature, leaning heavily on a cane and enveloped in a faint blue glow. 

Whatever it is, it shouldn’t have access to his room in the medbay. Kylo tries to immobilize the thing with the Force, but it doesn’t work. It’s like— it’s like the creature is _made_ of the Force.

Impossible.

The thing chuckles and stamps its cane on the floor.

Kylo reaches for the nearest object— his helmet, sitting right next to him— and throws it at the creature. 

It goes right through it.

“Still you have not guessed, mmmm?” The thing jumps onto the bed, and taps Kylo on the forehead. “Part of the Force, I have become. Harm the living Force, you cannot, hmmm!”

“You’re dead?” Kylo stares at the creature again. Underneath the blue glow, it’s green, with wisps of gray hair. And it’s wearing Jedi robes. 

“Fuck. I’m being followed by a dead Jedi.”

“Jedi _master_ , I was,” he says, tapping Kylo with his cane again.

* * *

The thing’s name is Yoda. And it _won’t go away_. Kylo has tried shooting it, stabbing it, strangling it, and straight-up ignoring it. Wherever he goes, Yoda follows, giving unwanted commentary on his actions.

No one else can see it. Hux seems to be under the impression that Kylo is going crazy— or perhaps that his insanity is finally making itself clear. 

Snoke would probably be able to see it, but Kylo didn’t dare ask him for help. It might be a sign that he’d failed, or that he _is_ going crazy. And luckily, Snoke hasn’t summoned him recently. Not since the fight in the forest.

Just the thought of _that_ makes Kylo seethe. He takes it out on a few stormtroopers who happen to be his way, using the Force to throw them out of his way. Phasma might complain later, but he doesn’t answer to her.

At least Yoda isn’t— 

“Much anger I sense in you,” Yoda says, suddenly appearing out of nowhere. 

Kylo stalks away, trying his best to ignore it. But the ghost walks alongside him, keeping up its commentary.

“And much conflict, hmmm?” Yoda continues. “But take it out on others, you do not have to.”

Kylo grits his teeth and storms toward his personal TIE fighter. Someone out there has _got_ to know how to kill a ghost.

* * *

The Jedi Temple on Coruscant had been gutted and turned into a government building during the Empire. It’s unlikely there will be much information there, but it’s still the most logical starting place.

Unfortunately, piloting to Coruscant is near-impossible with a ghost sitting in front of his viewscreen. He can see through Yoda, but only barely, and the ghost shows no sign of moving.

Kylo peers through the near-transparent ghost, hoping that the Force will help him not to collide with any asteroids or stray ships in this sector, and does his best to ignore Yoda’s nattering. Right now, the ghost is in the middle of a story about some Jedi he’d trained when he was alive. 

“Killed in the Chandellian civil war, he was,” Yoda concludes. He ceases his talking for a moment and stares off into the distance. There’s nothing to see but the inside of Kylo’s TIE fighter, but he’s not going to speculate about what goes on inside a ghost’s head. But while basking in the moment of silence, what Yoda just said sinks in.

“Wait, the _Chandellian_ civil war? That was five hundred years ago.” Too late, Kylo realizes that he’s addressing Yoda directly, something he hasn’t done since that first day.

Yoda chuckles, then raps Kylo on the head with his cane. “Nearly nine hundred years old I was when I became part of the Force! Listen, you do not!”

Kylo takes a brief moment to reflect on how unfair it is that Yoda can apparently hurt him, but he can’t hurt Yoda. 

Yoda is talking about something else now— ancient politics within the Jedi Council, as though Kylo cares. 

Kylo interrupts. “Did you know Vader?”

The ghost goes still and silent, and seems to contemplate his answer. “Know Vader, I did not. Know Anakin Skywalker, I did.”

Luke always insisted on the same bullshit distinction, whenever he spoke of Vader, and a familiar wave of irritation washes over Kylo. “They’re the same person,” he insists.

“Arrogant, we were. Blinded by our own success. See the darkness in our own midst, we did not.”

At least the ghost is validating what Kylo has always known. After all, even the dead Jedi can see how useless the old Jedi Council was!

But Yoda seems to know what he’s thinking. “Failed, we did. Useless, we were not! Protect the Republic for thousands of years, the Jedi did!”

“And in the end, it was all completely pointless. You’re all dead, and the Republic has been destroyed.” 

“Hmmm.” Yoda shakes his head. “See clearly, you do not.” He frowns at Kylo, then launches into a story about something called a youngling.

Kylo sighs, and tries to tune him out. Surely there will be answers on Coruscant.

* * *

There aren’t any answers on Coruscant. There are some records left from before the purges, but there’s nothing about ghosts or what happens to dead Jedi. There aren’t even any philosophical treatises to point him in the right direction, just endless books on long-ago politics. 

Yoda is quiet for once— has been ever since they reached the former Jedi Temple. It makes him much easier to ignore, as long as Kylo pretends he doesn’t see the faintly-glowing blue figure following him everywhere.

In frustration, Kylo shoves over the shelf of holos he was looking at, and storms out of the old library, ready to look for answers somewhere else. He steps into a courtyard, and stops, suddenly.

There are ghostly blue lights everywhere. They coalesce into forms: men and women, aliens and humans. All of them are dressed in Jedi robes.

And they’re all watching him.

Kylo has never thought of Yoda— tiny and annoying and insolent though he is— as threatening. But this is— this is unsettling.

He squares his shoulders and keeps walking. Every room or hallway he enters is the same: filled with ghosts. They watch him silently, judging him. 

None of them speaks Vader’s name, but it hangs in the air all the same.

* * *

Yoda doesn’t mention the events of the Jedi Temple. Maybe he thinks he’s made some sort of point.

If he has, Kylo refuses to acknowledge it.

Hux tries to comm him once— presumably to nag him about returning, or to find out if he’s deserted, or to gloat about some perceived petty victory. Kylo ignores his call and instead sends a message that he’s checking up on a few leads on Resistance cells.

Not that he needs to justify himself to Hux, but he’d prefer not to be branded a deserter.

Yoda sits in front of the viewscreen of Kylo’s TIE again. He doesn’t speak until they’re well away from Coruscant.

“Knew Anakin Skywalker, I did,” Yoda says. For the first time since he’s started bothering Kylo, he sounds tired. “Recommended against his training, I did. Too old, too afraid, too angry.” He looks directly at Kylo. “Too full of attachments.”

“You were just afraid of his power,” Kylo sneers. “You knew how powerful he’d become.”

“Strong in the Force, he was,” Yoda agrees. “Understand the Force, he did not.”

Kylo recognizes a lecture about to begin, and does his best to ignore Yoda’s nonsense about balance and emotions and the Dark Side. 

He’d learned all this shit from Luke, anyway, before he knew better. He doesn’t need to learn it all again.

* * *

There’s dozens of lesser sites that might still contain information on the Jedi, left over from the Old Republic.

Kylo flies to the ass-end of the galaxy and back, hoping to find something that will tell him how to get rid of his ghostly tagalong. It’s all for nothing; there’s information on the Jedi at each of the sites, but not a single one mentions ghosts.

He’s pretty sure that Yoda thinks this is incredibly funny. 

Between dodging calls from the First Order and listening to Yoda’s incessant stories about the Jedi Order, Kylo’s pretty sure he’s slowly going insane. 

Finally, though, Kylo has exhausted all of his leads. Maybe Luke would know something about this, but fuck knows where he’s hiding out. So instead, he turns to Yoda, hoping the ghost will be helpful for once.

“What do I have to do to get you to _leave me the fuck alone_?” Kylo asks. A lesser person might have called it a whine, but Kylo Ren did not whine.

“Learn from the past, you must!” Yoda says.

Kylo braces himself to be rapped by his cane _again_ , but for now, Yoda seems content with just scowling and pointing a finger.

“Fail, Vader did! Fail, you will also, if change you do not!”

Kylo groans. “I’m not joining the Resistance.”

“Refuse to listen, you do? Hmmm!” Yoda glares at him, and Kylo briefly wonders if this is what the rest of his life will be like.

“If I go to the Resistance, will you go away?”

* * *

“I hate you,” Kylo says to the incredibly smug ghost sitting in front of him. Then he opens up his comms.

“Attention, the Resistance! This is Kylo Ren—”

Kylo yelps as Yoda pokes his cane into Kylo’s side. With a glare at the ghost, he continues.

“This is Kylo Ren—” he sighs. “Also known as Ben Solo.” Yoda looks, if possible, even more smug. “I’m here to negotiate my surrender.”


End file.
